Fake your own death with a Black Russian cocktail

By: Daniel Adams

Black Russian Cocktail

Take a risk

Do you have severe financial problems? Do you have bailiffs parked outside your house right now? Then why don’t you fake your own death? Then, when the insurance company doesn’t pay out, reappear into your family’s lives and make a Black Russian cocktail. If anyone gets angry, just explain how you were doing some research on how Russian people live. In 2018, a whopping one Russki faked his own death. Interestingly, he did it to catch his would-be assassin, whoa!

If you order a Black Russian in Russia, you just ask for a “Black”, similar to how you just order “food” in China. “Do you fancy having a Chinese tonight” is not a term used by Chinese people. Partly because they speak Chinese and not English. China and Russia seem to be on quite good terms politically, which isn’t a bad thing.


Why is it called a Black Russian? Well, in 1949 a Belgian mixologist (Belgians are like French people who speak Flemish and are nothing like French people) came up with the idea. The “Russian” part of the name comes from the vodka part (ingenious) and the “black” from the coffee liqueur. Also, I believe some Siberians do drink vodka in the morning with their coffee. They do not have the highest of life expectancies.

If you are interested in faking your own death, please write and tell me. I won’t tell anyone. Otherwise, enjoy this great cocktail at a reasonable time of the day, let’s say 6 pm onwards. Drinking in the morning is silly unless you are a nocturnal being who sleeps during the day and roams the woods at night. Also, don’t do this.

Black Russian Cocktail


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