Norwegian money laundering & The Negroni

By: Daniel Adams

Norwegian Money Laundering and the Negroni

Prison? I've never been

Have you ever noticed how many establishments in your local town are laundering money? No, that’s because it’s illegal and if they get caught, they’ll certainly go to prison. So, instead of cleaning dirty cash, enjoy a Negroni cocktail. It’s sweet, unlike the slammer which is smelly and full of bad people. I’ve never been to jail, but if I had, I would warn folks not to go there. Unless it was in Norway, where I have heard so many great things about their correctional facilities, it makes me want to go to Oslo and assault a local. The only thing putting me off is that tax of alcohol in the great Fjordic land is so high, locals are forced to make moonshine in their large Scandinavian bathtubs.

Italian engineering

The Negroni cocktail was not invented in Norway. According to urban myths and Wikipedia, the Negroni was invented in Florence by a guy called “Something Negroni”, who asked his bartender to make him an Americano but stronger. After some hand flailing and unnecessary emotional rambling, the bartender swapped the traditional soda water of the Americano and replaced it with Gin. Boom! A new drink was born. To further differentiate itself, he added a slice of orange instead of lemon. How advanced the human race is!

Don't overthink it

If you’re wondering what money laundering, Norway and the Negroni have to do with each other, you are wasting a small part of your life. This website is soon to become filled with nonsense articles about things that either make no sense, are grammatically very poor, or simply spelled so badly that severely dyslexic beings can notice the typed mistakes. If you want to contact me, if only to tell me to stop writing articles, then click here

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